By Jaimee Dorris
Twelve years ago, I married Joel. And every anniversary since, I’ve told him the same thing: I love you more now than I ever have.
Over the years, we’ve talked a lot about when the “right” time to get married really is. Marrying young can be beautiful if you’re emotionally prepared and know what you want — but many people aren’t. On the other hand, marrying later in life has its own challenges, too. By then, we’ve lived so independently that compromise doesn’t always come easily.
What marriage has taught me is this: Who you are when you marry matters far more than finding “the one.”
BEFORE ASKING WHOM YOU WANT TO MARRY, ASK THESE BETTER QUESTIONS FIRST:
- Can you listen?
- Can you clearly communicate your needs?
- Can you hold boundaries yet still stay open?
- Can you take responsibility for your past?
- Can you build something alongside another person?
I didn’t marry Joel because of love at first sight or passion in the moment. I married him because I knew what I needed in a partner: loyalty, work ethic, growth, attraction and a man who could meet life head-on. I wanted a partner I could build a big life with, and 12 years, in I’m proud to say we’re doing it!
SO WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO GET MARRIED?
- When you’re ready to build something real.
- When you understand that no one is perfect.
- When you know dreams don’t happen alone.
- When you’re willing to choose growth over fantasy.
For us, that age was 32 and 35, respectively. Marriage isn’t a matter of age; it’s a matter of being ready.