By Michelle Garrett
Parenting has its challenges, am I right? When I think about my own childhood, I can’t help but think about those Gen X memes reminiscing about how kids would roam free from dusk to dawn, stopping only to drink water from the hose in the neighbor’s yard, and come home at suppertime — all without a text, DM or phone call. It’s a stark contrast to today, where kids can live a completely digital life.
I’m approaching the time in my parenting journey when I must confront the important decision of whether to allow social media and smartphones into our home.
PROS AND CONS
The threat of cyberbullying is a real one. There is a widespread lack of civility across social media that can be challenging to navigate, even for adults. There are also the problems of click bait and online predators. These are not easy issues to grapple with, so I hope you can appreciate my apprehension.
However, I recognize that certain circumstances may require a smartphone or mobile device. If both parents work, a smartphone makes it easier to coordinate schedules, pick-ups, etc. Or, if a child has extra-curricular activities, having a smartphone makes family logistics much easier. If your child has an after-school job or takes on babysitting gigs, a smartphone is a great way to maintain a line of communication in case of an emergency.
While I’m a big fan of getting kids off screens and outdoors, I know that a time will come when I might want or need to put a smartphone in my son’s hands. Not unlike putting him behind the wheel of a car in a few years, I’d feel more comfortable handing over the keys after teaching him boundaries and the rules of the road.
When it comes to smartphones and social media, the question of how soon is too soon is a tricky one, and I don’t pretend to have the answer. The solution lies in so many variables, family by family, kid by kid, and gender by gender. However, I’m happy to share a few resources and recommendations sourced from parents who have made the leap.
SMARTWATCHES
If you’re not ready to go straight to a phone, smartwatches offer connectivity with limited internet and social media capability. They have a cool factor going for them, so smartwatches keep the kids happy, too. Having a device on your wrist in school can be a distraction, so it would be important to discuss smartwatch etiquette with your child.
STARTER PHONES
Touted as a kid-safe cellphone, a Gabb Phone is like training wheels for a real smartphone. For your big kid, tween or teen, a Gabb Phone will keep them connected to family and friends without the dangers of the internet. These devices also give parents the flexibility to enable apps and features.
Other starter phones worth considering include The Light Phone, the Bark Phone and the Pinwheel Phone.
SMARTPHONES
If you decide that a smartphone makes sense, it’s completely acceptable to place guardrails to protect your child. Consider an a-la-carte approach to the rules and adjust as appropriate.
For example, some parents don’t allow downloads or phones in bedrooms. Others enact screen-time limits, adjust settings to prevent a child from creating a new Apple ID, limit content or remove browsing software altogether.
An interesting alternative to your standard Apple or Samsung smartphones, the Troomi Phone lets parents unlock features as kids demonstrate responsibility, without having to replace hardware or equipment as they mature.
WAIT UNTIL 8TH
If you need solidarity in your decision to delay smartphones and social media, check out Wait Until 8th, an organization that advocates waiting to give children smartphones until the end of eighth grade.
NO ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL SOLUTION
Kids are now growing up at an accelerated clip. Parents should feel comfortable with their choices surrounding smartphones and social media without peer pressure one way or the other. Whatever you decide, know you’re not alone in the struggle, and there are plenty of options and resources to help guide you toward the best decision for your family.
Michelle Garrett is the founder of Wonder Club Explorers, an independent scouting group, and a contributor to The Gulf Coast Mom. You can connect with her on Instagram: @wonderclubexplorers.