How I became mentally well: Romy Hall

My mental health struggle

I was an overachiever in an attempt to please my parents. I studied all night, worked harder than the rest and completed tasks that seemed unattainable. I was an expert shooter and basic training’s most improved soldier.

With five sons, a new art gallery, post-partum depression and the effects of Hurricane Katrina, life truly overwhelmed me. I felt like I dropped the ball in many ways. I was bewildered by motherhood and the chaos and confusion that life had in store with teen boys.

Because I’d always wanted to please my parents, I thought the boys would trip all over themselves to please me, their adoring mom and cheerleader … not so. Teens are teens, and boys are even tougher, so I felt I like a failure as a mom and inadequate at almost everything — so much so that I almost couldn’t stand to be alive.

How I knew I needed help

I would go to sleep and wish I would not wake up. I woke up and couldn’t understand why I was alive. I knew I had a problem, and I began weekly mental health therapy. Life got even a bit worse for a bit because you can become frustrated trying to harness your emotions as you learn to deal with yourself.

What I did to get better 

I journaled. I remembered happier days. I knew my children needed me, my friends encouraged me and the effect I had on others was appreciated.

My sister and friends encouraged me to persevere. I took everybody’s good advice seriously and did everything; I went to funny movies, to lunch, to events.

I took that first step into doing things — but always with someone else. I counted on beautiful friends to hold my hand, and when I asked, someone always was willing to help in some way.

My advice to others 

Ask for help. When I had no will to live, I lived for others — for the kids, for the homeless, for the artists, for the love on people’s faces. Make lists and check tasks off or cross them out when you finish them. It is a sense of relief and accomplishment!

I am now a full time “homemaker,” as my wonderful husband calls me. I have my hard times, and I rely on him and family and friends and am reminded that I am loved just as I am; so are you. Sometimes we just don’t see it.

This too shall pass! I promise. What is most important to you? Live for that and seek help.

You are not alone.