Joe and Debbie Nastasi knew they were in love at the exact same moment.
Although Joe had graduated with Debbie’s sister from Chalmette High School and worked with her brother at Winn-Dixie Supermarket, he didn’t pay much attention to his future wife until they attended Southeastern Louisiana University together.
“I happen to be in the cafeteria and saw her eating and went over to say hello,” Joe recalls, “which, by chance, started a friendship.”
Because their families lived near each other, Debbie’s parents asked if Joe could bring her home and back to school some weekends. Several months later, while at a local beach together, the couple shared their fateful first kiss.
Joe was smitten in that instant and knew she was the one — and as it turned out, Debbie felt the same.
“We didn’t realize this until many years later as we were preparing to lead a Marriage Encounter weekend!” she says. “I love that part of our story!”
The couple is still writing that story after 54 years of marriage, two daughters, three grandchildren and one great-grandson. Joe retired from the Air Force after 27 years as a helicopter pilot, and then from the Biloxi School District, where he was a JROTC teacher at Biloxi High School. His wife worked as a psychologist both in private practice and in schools.
On paper, given their vastly different personalities, the Nastasis might seem like an unlikely love match. Joe is driven and structured; Debbie is more laid back. He’s bothered when plans change, but she doesn’t mind a little spontaneity. He relies more on his head, but she leads with her heart.
While the pair are as “different as night and day,” according to Debbie, that fact has served them well.
“All of these opposites have helped to keep the peace and also move us forward,” she says.
LOVE IN THE LITTLE THINGS
The couple has acquired the kind of wisdom that only comes from a lifetime of shared milestones: Their wedding day. Their first move. Joe’s year-long deployment to Thailand. The birth of their children, Kelly and Kimberly, and their daughters’ graduations from high school and college — both with master’s degrees. Debbie’s graduation with her doctorate. The birth of their grandchildren and great-grandchild. Retirement. And the list goes on ….
Through minor and major changes alike, Joe has found that consistent affection, effort and appreciation are the key to marital harmony.
“Make sure you tell your spouse that you love her/him every day — and I mean every day,” he says. “Write a short note in the morning and leave it by the coffee pot or a place that is common to you both.”
Joe also advises never going to bed upset or angry with your spouse and always kissing each other good night. Another tip: Thank each other for not just the big things, but for the little, everyday gestures that often go unnoticed.
“We make our bed every day, so we came up with the phrase, ‘the cabin girl or cabin boy,’” he explains, “so if Deb makes the bed, I always thank the ‘cabin girl’ — and vise-versa.”
FOCUSING ON THE BLESSINGS
Debbie stresses the importance of communication — which doesn’t have to be spoken. Love can be expressed through a note, a hug, a kiss or even just a smile.
Above all, she encourages couples to “make loving each other a priority” and “make God a part of your shared life.” Even when she and Joe disagree, she adds, they do so with respect and dignity — never forgetting the bond that unites them forever.
“It may sound like there were no frustrations or challenges — on the contrary,” she says. “We just choose to focus on the blessings.”