Karen Adkins is not your typical grandmother.
“I’ve been tandem parachuting (and) still love rollercoasters,” says the self-described “adrenaline junkie.” “I’m hoping to do the Nascar challenge soon!”
Now a resident of the Armed Forces Retirement Home in Gulfport, the adventure-loving native of Cookeville, Tennessee, has called many places home: Nashville; Yokosuka, Japan; Atsugi, Japan; and Pensacola, Florida. As wife to retired Senior Chief Petty Officer John Adkins, who served in the U.S. Navy for 23 years, she endured separations, deployments, relocations and all the challenges inherent in being a military spouse.
“Imagine not seeing your spouse for six weeks, six months, a year,” Adkins says. “It happens every day. It’s a concept most cannot understand because they’ve never lived it.”
Despite the difficulties and sacrifices, Adkins embraced the unpredictability of military life, pressing on with good humor and a grateful spirit. Her time as a home-front warrior affected her profoundly — making her adaptable, resilient and independent.
“I traveled as much as possible and learned a lot along the way,” says the stepmother of two and grandmother of three. “I have seen and done so many wonderful things!”
ADJUSTING TO LIFE ABROAD
When Adkins moved to Japan with her husband, it was the first time she’d ever lived outside of her home state. They were in the country for two weeks when he deployed on the USS Midway.
“I was in a Japanese neighborhood, with a dog, no furniture, no driver’s license and I had no idea where the base was,” she recalls. “It was also 29 degrees outside and about 30 inside. … To say it was shocking is an understatement.”
Nonetheless, Adkins made the most of her time abroad — working as an assistant English teacher for two Japanese high schools, leading a weekly ladies’ chat at a university, helping a plastic surgeon translate papers for medical journals and taking on 22 private students.
She also was a member of the Midway Wives’ Club, composed of friends whose husbands also were serving aboard the ship. The wives’ club would travel to ports where the Midway was due to pull in, which gave Adkins the opportunity to visit Hong Kong and The Philippines.
“I tried to make the best of it,” she says. “And I forged some lifelong friendships along the way.”
Some days were harder and lonelier than others, but Adkins developed comfortable routines: walking their dog, Midnight; buying groceries; doing laundry and corresponding with her husband.
“We lived overseas before Skype, Facetime, etc.,” she says. “We wrote real letters every day he was gone. I still love to write letters.”
‘THE HARDEST PART WAS MISSING HIM’
Adkins also got acquainted with her Japanese neighbors. When her dog dashed out the door before she could catch him, her neighbors, a different one each time, would return him — carrying the pet like a baby.
“Midnight loved it,” Adkins laughs. “To this day, I have no idea where he went.”
While she was walking Midnight, Adkins had a chance encounter with an English-speaking neighbor, which led to a teaching job in a Japanese high school. To maintain her licensed practical nurse (LPN) license, she taught CPR and Healthy Mother Healthy Baby classes.
“I grew up, fast! I learned I can do anything I needed to do,” she says. “I couldn’t fix the washing machine, but I knew how to get someone to help.”
John was home just 100 days the first year of their marriage, and 125 days the next. Holidays were especially tough, and at times, Adkins doubted whether she could endure it. But regular conversations with family and friends on Sunday nights, as well as staying busy, helped her persevere.
“The hardest thing,” she says, “was missing him.”
‘UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SIGNING UP FOR’
In 1997, the couple faced their greatest challenge yet when they discovered John had primary biliary cholangitis, an auto-immune disease, and would need a liver transplant to survive.
“To deal with that, his retirement, selling the house and so on was the most trying time for us,” Adkins says. “It was heartbreaking to see him go through it.”
Fortunately, he received a liver transplant in November of 1999 and now is doing well. His wife stood by him faithfully through his illness and recovery, just as she had throughout his military service.
“The spouse is a support person, an integrable part of their careers,” Adkins says. “They can do the job they are trained for, knowing their spouse is a solid foundation.”
Reflecting on her journey as the nation observes Veterans Day on Nov. 11, Adkins emphasizes the importance of remembering those who served. She has nine veterans in her family, including a brother who did two tours in Afghanistan and died from cancer in 2021.
“My parents taught us at an early age to respect veterans and to respect the flag, so Veterans Day was always important in my family,” Adkins recalls. “My grandmother would have a huge dinner with everything that didn’t move draped in red, white and blue.”
The seasoned military spouse once told people she could pack a house in a day, but now she is happily settled at the Air Force Retirement Home — where Veterans Day is a very special occasion.
For the miliary spouses of future generations, Adkins has these words of advice: “Understand what you are signing up for.”
“It can be a tough life,” she says, “but there are so many wonderful things that can come your way — if you’re open to them!”