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Letting go: Sending my firstborn to college

*This column originally was published on Gulf Coast Mom

By Katie Presley

Explaining what it is like to send one’s firstborn child off to college is almost impossible. This milestone gives rise to many conflicting emotions.

On one hand, I was immensely proud of my son and knew he was ready to fly, so to speak. However, I could look at him a certain way and think he still had to be my 4-year-old on the t-ball field.

Letting go is always hard, even without the extenuating circumstances we’ve seen in recent years — namely COVID-19. Our son attends a community college about four hours from home. He received a scholarship to play college baseball, and we were thrilled. Not only is this my alma mater, but my aunt is a retired English professor, and my father is a business professor there. Our son talked to his roommate-to-be several times before the move. The baseball coach pairs the guys, so our son did not have a choice. Fortunately, he and his roommate got along very well.

Months before, I started reading about dorm room essentials and really started shopping in June.

  • Places to shop: Bed, Bath, and Beyond and Amazon were our go-to places for dorm essentials. Additionally, we bought things at IKEA and Home Depot.
  • Game plan: This may sound silly (or embarrassing for my son), but I talked to his roommate’s mom. Girls tend to have custom bedding and headboards made, but guys are a little easier. She and I decided to just stick with the college colors of gray, white and maroon, which made things much easier.

The move-in date came quickly, and we headed up to the college. On move-in day, my mom kept our toddler, and our teenage daughter came with us. The roommate was not there yet, so we unpacked my son’s things.

Honestly, everything was so laid back, and I was surprised. I had envisioned hundreds of students and family members going up and down elevators and hallways. Because his college had a staggered move-in schedule, the calm atmosphere was a nice surprise.

There is a rite of passage where the college student’s mother “makes up” the bed. I was honored to do this while the guys hooked up the television, Xbox and other electronics. Then, his roommate arrived and set up his side of the room. Everything looked neat, and I was so proud.

The time came for us to leave. I knew it was coming. This moment had been in the back of my mind throughout his senior year.

I got the last hug; he hugged me longer than usual. We got in my husband’s truck to leave, and I saw our son turn around to walk the other way. Just looking at him and knowing he was not coming back with us nearly did me in.

I got the last hug; he hugged me longer than usual. We got in my husband’s truck to leave, and I saw our son turn around to walk the other way. Just looking at him and knowing he was not coming back with us nearly did me in.

On the way home, everyone was fairly quiet. I was proud of myself for not crying in front of my son. But when we pulled into our driveway, I could not help myself. His gray truck that was usually in the driveway was not there, and I began to feel empty and lost. So, I had a good cry.

He missed out on his first college baseball season due to the pandemic, but he made many friends, studied hard and had a good freshman year.

Admittedly, I have gotten spoiled when he visits home. I know he will have to leave again soon, and I probably will cry again.

But they don’t really leave right away, do they? They put one foot out the door — then the other.


If your child is going to college in 2024, it’s time to get serious about college planning. Don’t miss our college guide, coming in the August issue, to help you select the right college for and prepare your child for his or her first semester.


Katie Presley is a wife, mom of three, educator and contributor to Gulf Coast Moms Blog. Reach her at katiepresley.blog.

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