Success is different for everyone. Many people imagine they’ll be successful with their ideal job, dream house, perfect car or with fortune and fame. Success has no measurement, and people rarely “feel” successful after gaining power or possessions. In fact, many people are disappointed when they realize that something they wanted for so long does not actually make them feel successful.
For others, success could mean having time and health on weekends to enjoy a fishing camp surrounded by loved ones. It could be to volunteer or to invent a product or service that helps others. Just as we are all different, so is success!
While in occupational therapy school, I learned that humans require meaningful activity and a sense of purpose to feel fulfilled, with a balance of work, play, rest and physical, spiritual and emotional activity. Years ago, at a self-development course that inspired participants to become successful, those who “succeeded” the most reported feeling lonely. They had pushed all other needs aside and focused only on becoming successful. Success toward a goal does require dedication and work. However, the key to true success is knowing what you’re seeking and doing so with balance.
Is the ladder you’re climbing taking you to where you really want to go? Be honest with yourself; make quiet time alone to jot down how you see your successful self. Be sure to make this list for yourself, not as you imagine others want it to be.
In “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Stephen Covey offers this advice: “If you carefully consider what you want to be said about you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.” Imagine how you want to be remembered, how you want your life celebrated, what is truly important, what lifestyle you want and who you want to be. Write these goals and the steps required. Do you need to study? To read books/journals? To find a mentor or group? Success requires being clear about what you want and a solid plan with realistic, measurable short- and long-term goals.
Success is a journey and not a destination
Success is a journey and not a destination, shaped by all the stages and roles in life. Give yourself credit for all you have learned and the success you’ve already achieved. When my children were young, this lovely quote by Forest Witcraft shaped my parenting goals: “A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove… but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.” Now, with my children grown, there are new goals for fulfillment and success.
Lastly, striving for success takes bravery. Inevitably there will be times that the best plans fail. JK Rowling reminds us, “Failure is important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.” To find victory in our success, may we be brave like Thomas Edison: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Sheryl Egan-Olaivar is an occupational therapist and yoga teacher with more than 30 years of experience in health care.